WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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