Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i need some magic done to my vagina
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
