Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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