Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
