You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize