I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
