I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
