I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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