I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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