And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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