his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
