you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize