so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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