She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
