Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize