this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
