Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
