i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
