He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize