Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
