The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
