dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
