Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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