i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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