Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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