just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
