Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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