So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
we're so committed to being not committed
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
