Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
