Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
