New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
This is my gift to your gina
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
