Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
