I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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