HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize