he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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