How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I currently don't understand fingers.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
