What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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