btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
