4 words: hood of his car
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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