i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
