There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
