no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
