Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
