I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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