a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
