No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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