just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
