Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
