This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
