I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize