I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize