You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Gay?
German.
Pity.
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