Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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