I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
