This is not my ceiling
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
