k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
handjob tips. give me some.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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