yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
