I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You may now shotgun with the bride
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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