I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
