My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
