Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
