We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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