You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
