Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
